We are relaxing after a VERY busy several days that shook up my stay-at-home-mom world!!  Thursday and Friday I spent all day in Indy at the Sheraton for the Indiana Speech and Hearing Convention that I try to go to every year.  It's a reasonably inexpensive way to get continuing education hours to keep my speech licenses up.  Good times (really it's not, but I'm glad it's over :-)  I maybe slept about 6 hours each Wed. and Thurs. night.  I rushed home and packed to head over to Elston Family Church's Women's Retreat at beautiful Camp Tecumseh on Friday evening.  The men prepared a tasty taco bar dinner for us.  My amazing friend, Lindsay, spoke on focusing on God and sharing His love with others and not getting bogged down with other "stuff."  We worshiped together.  We played some very competitive, rousing rounds of Pictionary.  I sang a little Karaoke.  And stayed up WAY too late just talking and connecting with a group of women, even though Jessica and I made a weak pact to go to bed by midnight.  I went to bed at 2:30 and had a lot of trouble falling asleep and woke up each hour during the few hours of sleep I got.  I spent the first half of Saturday at the retreat with more talk, worship, food and fellowship.  Then, Mike picked me up right after lunch so we could drive the 2 hours to Walkerton for my cousin's bridal shower.  Can I get a shout out for the Fish Lake area?  No, you don't know it?  At the shower I was starting to really feel the effects of lack of sleep for me and baby.  I was beat.  Got back to my mom's and hung out for a little while, but then crashed...hard...at 7:30 pm and did not get up until 8 the next morning.  It was the best and most sound sleep I had experienced in a LONG time.  After waking, we ate breakfast and laid around and then I napped on the couch after just being awake for a couple of hours.  I know....that's pretty bad.  I was told I was snoring.  You know I had to still be tired if I was laying against the deer skin blanket hanging on the back of the couch in my parents' basement!! Aah...gross!!  Anyway, I think I am finally caught up on sleep and feeling good :-)

Now for some randomness...when we got home from the weekend Sunday night, I noticed Mike had left his "to pack" list on the table since he had been solo for a couple of days and couldn't rely on ME to remember/pack everything he would need (which is typically the case!).  So, I, of course, looked it over.  Had things like: contacts, glasses, winter coat, laptop, etc.  #9 said: Stop reading, #10: this list, Amy.  What a brat.  He got a real kick out of it while he observed me reading it.  I can't figure out if he simply prepared the list to mess with me (because I am THAT predictable that I'd go and read it) or if he just thought of it as he was listing stuff.  Gotta keep up with what's going on when I'm not here, ya know...Would you have perused your husband's list/notes if you came across it??

Today Alex said a couple of cute things.  For whatever reason, we refer to our room upstairs (between our bedrooms) as the bonus room.  It's basically a family room (or may be called a game room in the floor plans).  I think bonus room is what would be used to describe it in a listing to sell the home, but it's just what has stuck with us.  So, Alex said out of the blue today..."Why do we call this the bonus room?  There's no bonus' in it."  Haha.  Also, I made a healthier version of banana bread today and it had oatmeal in it.  I have NEVER been able to get Alex to eat oatmeal.  Believe me, I've tried.  So, as he was eating it, he could tell it tasted different than typical banana bread and he said, "Maybe you put too much EATmeal in."  I've finally found a way to get him to consume "eatmeal," woo hoo :-)

A few years ago I used to subscribe to Family Fun magazine.  GREAT magazine.  You can pretty much view everything online, so check out their website.  And I think I had a Parents mag subscription.  I used to constantly tear out pages of activities and articles that interested me and categorized them in an expandable file with hopes/thoughts of referring to them and utlizing them someday....um, hasn't happened!!!  But, I just remembered as April 1st is fast-approaching, that I had come across some April Fools' meals--to trick the kids.  So, I looked up on their site and there is a slew of ideas.  It's pretty cool how much they look like the real meals (peanut butter logs/chicken nuggets, vanilla ice cream with caramel sauce/mashed potatoes and gravy, sour apple Airheads candy rolled up into balls to look like peas, etc.).  I may get creative on Wednesday (or SOME day) and try some of these out, although I know mine won't even come close to looking as perfect as theirs pictured.  But, no matter, I wanted to share with you all.  Check out these fun food pranks.

On a more serious note, my 2nd doctor appointment is on Thursday.  I am 12 weeks tomorrow.  I am feeling anxious.  I want, more than anything, to hear the baby's heartbeat and they will most definitely be able to detect it at this visit.  I NEED to hear it for reassurance at this stage.  I think it will help get me through the next few weeks until I can hear it again.  Several people have asked me if I've had testing yet and know the health status of the baby.  No, I do not.  I've opted (since they are completely optional) not to have any 1st trimester screenings because, frankly, that's what they are...screenings.  They are not even close to being 100% accurate and are notorious for false-positive or false-negative results.  I have nothing else in my medical history, besides the anencephaly, and I have been on mega-doses of folic acid since I had Lydia.  Although this does not protect my baby completely from a neural tube defect, it helps tremendously.  I have no other reason, medically, to be concerned to pursue testing at this time.  Plus, it would not change how I handle the pregnancy.  Sure, I have fears, which totally come along with having lost a baby and having friends who have lost babies or have had difficult pregnancies.  But, I feel I am not letting my fears control me by having unnecessary screenings done and, in a sense, I am guarding my heart until that monumental 20-week ultrasound when everything will be more definite.

A sister in Christ prayed for me and the baby at the women's retreat.  I can't tell you how much it meant to me.  And it's times like those when the emotions that I didn't even know I had were revealed.  Our heads were bowed, our hands were clasped and it, literally, was raining tears.  A constant shower of MY tears splashed on our hands.  And with each tear that hit, I thought about God collecting every, single one of them in that moment, in the past and in the future.  Psalm 56:8 says that He lists my tears on a scroll.  He keeps record of them.  My tears will never be in vain.  They will be cherished and remembered by The One who created me and loves me like no other.  The One who determines my baby's fate.  This is true.  Although scary sometimes that I only have the teensiest bit of control during this pregnancy by some of the choices I make, but inevitably my baby's future is up to Him.  Please know that I have a whole lot of faith in Him.  And whatever is supposed to happen for our family in this phase of our lives...will happen.  I just keep thanking God each day, for where I'm at.  For this moment in time.  Thank you, Father, for the tiny baby (currently the size of a large lime) that you are growing inside of me.  Thank you for blessing me with this little one for 12 weeks now.  I am constantly amazed by what You do!